a collection of quotes...

...from what I've been reading lately on NFP and "responsible parenthood".

This post is mostly for myself as I try to organize the thoughts that resonated with me - quotes that I want to remember as we work out how we are being called by God to be generous in our own family. But, as I have in the past, I'm going to go ahead and post them in case someone comes along and finds some wisdom in these words...with links to all the blog posts and articles from which they were taken and a number of other resources that we have found helpful.

"We need to be very careful when we talk about “responsible parenthood.” All too often, this phrase leads to the idea of preventing pregnancy as the default mode for Catholic marriages. In this way of thinking, couples must meet certain criteria, financial or otherwise, before they are “allowed” to have children. I can think of many words to describe this kind of thinking, but not one of them is “Catholic.”" from Humble and Heroic by Danielle Bean.


"Does to be "open to life" mean "Have as many babies as humanly possible?" or that even NFP is bad? Does spacing children or waiting make you less "open to life" even if you are not using illicit means? Conversely, does having another child when your resources (define that one, I dare you) are already strained mean that you are not family planning, just reproducing? Does trusting God...with another when others think it is irresponsible mean you are not a good parent to those children already in your care?

Point is, "open to life" means different things to different people. Add to this the deep emotion people feel on this topic and it is very easy for people to talk past each other even though they are using the same words. Further exacerbating this discussion, and many many many discussions all over the Catholic blogsophere, are those who always think that they are more Catholic than you. It doesn't matter where you come down on an issue, there is always somebody more Catholic than you ready to tell you what you are doing wrong and why you should be shopping for a time share in hell. I just love those guys." from "Open to Life" and Other Simple Phrases by Patrick Archbold

"To sum up: being "open to life" and practicing "responsible parenthood" are not mutually exclusive goals. While each family will have to make specific prudential decisions that are properly speaking their own business to decide, it is not the case that parents may indiscriminately add to their families children for whom they can't provide those things which parents are morally obligated to provide for their children, just as parents may not indiscriminately postpone having children in the absence of just reasons or with a contraceptive mindset." from The Church and Responsible Parenthood by Erin Manning

"2. People who are “open to life” while using NFP to avoid pregnancy will sometimes become pregnant anyway. Depending upon a variety of issues related to fertility, education, temperaments, and circumstances, this is more likely for some couples than for others." from 3 Things I Wish More People Knew by Danielle Bean

"You know, this conversation can not be boiled down simply to responsibility. Things happen. Unexpected things; illness, job loss, law suits. You can not have a contingency plan for everything. ...financial security is an illusion. The eternal gift of life is not. ...It can not be boiled down to "providentialism", "failed NFP", "irresponsible parenthood", or "selfishness". Our family formation is a mix of seeing and acting on grace in our lives, and trying our best to do the right thing, using Church teaching as our guide. ...The Church doesn't say, "You MUST use NFP" nor does it say, "You MAY NOT use NFP". No, the Church is too wise a mother to make those kind of pronouncements. The Church does say, Be Generous. That means to God, to our neighbor, to our children. How we work this out with the graces given us is very personal and very individual." abridged from a comment by 'Mary Poppins NOT' following A Clarification by Erin Manning.

"Whether we love NFP or hate it, whether we choose to use it in our marriages or not, whether we have one child or 16 children, we Catholics have no business receiving new life with anything but charity and joy. We have no business labeling our fellow Catholics, in their time of need and vulnerability, as crazy or irresponsible." from Are We A Pro-Life People? by Danielle Bean

This is just the beginning of these discussions, I'm sure, since the Church recently celebrated the 40th anniversary of Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI. This encyclical is worth studying along with Casti Connubi by Pope Pius XI and Familaris Consortio by Pope John Paul II.

Other related resources include the books, Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla and Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II, translated by Michael Waldstein, Pope John Paul II's Letter to Families and The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality from the Pontifical Council for the Family.
In addition, I have really enjoyed reading and re-reading Life-Giving Love: Embracing God's Beautiful Plan for Marriage by Kimberly Hahn; and am going to begin working my way through part of Marriage: The Mystery of Faithful Love by Dietrich von Hildebrand, which I just discovered over at the EWTN Library. There is also the full text of Archbishop Fulton Sheen's Three to Get Married and other books, excerpts from books, and articles on Marriage.

I recently heard about several articles including NFP: A Defense and an Explanation and Marriage and the Use of Natural Family Planning by Thomas Storck, along with several related articles at the University Concourse. Finally, there are a number of articles at the Catholic Education Resource Center that pertain to these topics in Marriage and Family and related categories. God, Sex and Babies: What the Church Really Teaches About Responsible Parenthood by Christopher West is particularly relevant to the current discussion. We have printed out and collected in a binder many of these articles along with the above-mentioned papal documents.

Finally, we have Naked Without Shame. This is an incredibly inexpensive audio resource that helps to introduce and explain JPII's Theology of the Body. All the resources that I've mentioned have been sitting on the shelf for a while. It seems to be an appropriate time to pull them out and review.

**Updated 8-15-08 to add the new Theology of the Body Channel on Catholic Exchange.