one year old

It is another peaceful snow globe morning on Stephen's first birthday! As we hit this milestone, I've been reflecting on Stephen's baby book - or the absence thereof - partly because of this article. Yes - I feel mommy guilt for not having recorded all his little triumphs. With four kids aged 5-1/2 and under (yesterday marked Catherine's half birthday), my memories are already more than a little fuzzy. I knew when I had Catherine, however, that I'd never be able to keep up a baby book for each of my kids. We wanted a large family from the beginning and I witnessed how even mothers of two children spaced years apart recorded every detail for the first few years of their first born...and then the second got a few blanks filled in here and there. I wasn't going to do that. I was going to be even-handed in my neglectfulness.

Fortunately, we have lots of pictures and little movies of the biggest milestones; crawling, walking, funny faces, sweet voices. My favorite thing about babies, though is the silkiness of their skin, the sweetness of their breath, and the softness of their touch. These things can't be recorded but in a mother's fading memory, so this morning I laid in bed with my one year old baby and listened to him breathe, drank in his sweet breath, and melted as his warm hand closed tightly around my finger.

I haven't had time to make a video montage, but you can glance back through a year of pictures that I've posted of Stephen by clicking here.